The First Baseball Game

(This is an account of the first baseball game as told by Harey Carey......)

Hello Fans this is Harey Carey, welcome to todays game between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants. Kind of a sparse crowd here today as a plague of locusts has made it tough to get out to the ballpark. You can hear the vendors though.....Hey Manna! Get your Manna! Who wants bread from Heaven it's hot...it's fresh..it just fell ...hot manna here!.....Penance !Penance!....Our Fathers, Hail Marys, can't get absolution without an act of contrition...who wants a rosary here! Water ! Water ! Wa....Wine ! Who wants wine now!

Peter looks into Jesus for the sign, Jesus gives him the sign..Holy Cow! Peter denies it!.....he gives it to him again he denies it again, once more!...that's three times and Jesus is out to give Peter a sermon on the mound. Jesus of course the big hero in yesterdays game...came up in the bottom of the ninth with the braves down 3-0 and hit a bases empty grand slam!...Fans we haven't had a miracle like that since we had fishes and loaves night. I had a chance to talk with the Savior after the game and this is what he had to say "Well Harey, the ball was on the outside part of the plate....I had enough time to make contact...first of all I want to thank my Father for loading the bases and the Holy Ghost for breaking up the double play."

Back to the action! La-Zair-Us up to the plate....(Harry turns to other announcer) what's that? Sorry Lazuras up to the plate...here's the pitch...oh no ! he's hit, he's hurt...he's down..Holy Cow...he's dead! But wait a minute, he gets back up...that's the 6th time this week...that kid can take one for the team.

Abraham up to the plate now...probably up here to sacrafice....infield drawn in for the patriarch and now there's some action in the Bethlehem bullpen. I can't quite make out the back of his robe...It is ! The big #10 Moses! Just called up from the Burning Bush League, already getting a reputation for that lightning fast pick off move...reminding those runners that thou shalt not steal.

Lets give it over to Steve Stone now "Thank you Harry, fans you want to be here this Tuesday night when the Braves meet the Calvary Cubs...it's gonna be Nabisco communion wafer day here at the ballpark, all fans 33 and under get a free eucharist signed by the savior himself. You know fans Nabisco communion wafers go down smooth...won't stick to the roof of your mouth like those cheap imitation sacraments. Sure they cost a little more but when it comes to your eternal salvation isn't it worth that extra buck in the collection plate?...Remember fans the next time you go to the rail for that body and blood ask for the host with the most!...ask for Nabisco."

Thanks Steve, here's some scores now from around the league....a big upset: David 1 Goliath 0...ends a long win streak for the big guy. Oh no! Job is on the 15 day disabled list with a bad case of leprosy...pulled a hamstring...pulled it right off. Angels have sent Lucifer down..that's a shame...when that kid was in his prime he could throw some heat! This year his earned run average has ballooned to a hefty 6.66.

(I heard this a few years ago and put it on a cd.....I found that cd a few days ago and I laugh everytime I hear this so I thought I'd share it.....it's some guy on a radio show telling this story and doing his Harey Carey impersonation....it's quite comical)